The Birthday Ritual
by ActuallyFace
Summary: Here, have some fluffy birthday EriKar. T because you can't just put things with Karkat in them under anything but.


Karkat wasn't much for birthdays, especially his own, but he supposed it wasn't so bad when he could use it as an excuse to hang out with a friend.

He and Eridan had sort of a tradition there, where instead of going out and holding some kind of huge fucking party to celebrate a day Karkat himself was no big fan of, they would curl up on the couch and watch his favorite romcoms and discuss things that didn't really need discussing. It was something they would do anyways, on other days, which put Karkat at ease because it felt... normal. He could pretend it was just another day gossiping with Eridan, instead of something that was supposed to promise a lot of happiness and fun that never really came. There was no disappointment, this way. Just Eridan and some movies and maybe ice cream or popcorn or something.

When Eridan arrived, he brought with him his purple blanket and a couple of bags of microwaveable popcorn. He was already dressed in his usual lazy sweats, which could really only barely be called 'lazy sweats', because the guy was somehow more rich than Bill fucking Gates and the soft, shiny fabric felt like it was probably worth more than Karkat's apartment and belongings combined. It put his own crab-printed sweatpants and Will Smith shirt to shame, then rubbed it's nose in that shame a couple of more times for good measure. It didn't really matter, though. Eridan's money bought them good popcorn and that was all that Karkat cared about.

He grabbed the bags out of the other's hands without a word, and set off to the kitchen to pop them, while Eridan moved into his living room to set up the couch. Karkat's own grey blanket was already laid out over his usual half of it, so Eridan curled up on the second half and snatched the remote off the beat-up old coffee table to start the movie, which was, of course, already in the DVD player. A stack of Karkat's favorites sat on top of the player, too, which Eridan knew he was going to have to get up to put in as soon as the ending credits of this one began to roll.

"The movie's in the player, set it up!" Karkat called form the kitchen while popping his second bag, though he knew Eridan was already doing that. It was part of the ritual.

"I'm settin' the damn thing up already, calm your shit an' focus on the popcorn before you burn somethin'!" Eridan replied with all the bitchy attitude he could muster. Also part of the ritual.

Eridan had the movie paused on the opening scene when Karkat came back out carrying three big bowls of expertly-popped popcorn, which he then set on the old coffee table before closing all of the shades and turning off the lights and seating himself besde Eridan.

"Wait 'till I'm ready." He mumbled, wrapping himself in his grey blanket and scooching up close to the other, who was already starting the movie regardless of Karkat's request. He didn't object, though; there was no point. And he knew this movie by heart anyways.

Eridan set the remote down and picked up a bowl of popcorn, leaning on Karkat, who muttered something foul but let him anyways. It wasn't like he could entirely object; Eridan was warm and his apartment was cold, despite the near-blistering heat outside. It was never really warm in there, probably the fault of cement walls and being partially underground, plus a broken heater that he didn't have the time, experience, or money to fix. But it wasn't all bad. When the other came other, it gave them both an excuse to huddle close to each other and, for once, truly enjoy another person's company. Even if they both liked to pretend sometimes that they didn't.

Karkat spoke with the movie as it went on, not really even paying attention to what was really happening when the scenes couldn't be described as 'quirky and romantic', his lips just barely moving while a long trail of whispers worked their way out. He was so caught up in the romance, the cheesey lines and shitty acting, Eridan couldn't help but find it a little bit cute. And when the scene changed and it was all dull and real-worldy again, Karkat's whispers turned into louder words, and he and Eridan talked for a precious few moments about things that didn't matter.

"He obvviously spray-tans." Eridan would remark as a new character came onto screen, and Karkat would scoff.

"Are you fucking blind? He's tan, but he's not goddamn Snooki."

"He's a pumpkin! A real toned pumpkin wwith some damned nice teeth, maybe, but he could out-orange a fuckin' oompa loompa."

"A nicely tan, brownish oompa loompa."

"He's orange, Kar."

"Okay, so maybe he uses a tanning bed, but he does not spray-tan. That is not the face of a spray-tanner."

And then the scene would end, and Eridan would fall quiet again as Karkat began to recite the actor's lines quietly.

When the movie ended and the bowl of popcorn the two had been picking at was empty, Eridan rose to start another movie without a word. Karkat settled back and watched him, yawning a little.

When Eridan was back where he should be, it was Karkat who snuggled up against him, drawing his blanket tighter around his shoulders. This one was one of his favorites, but it always made him cry: Garden State. It was probably the least cheesey of what he owned, too, which didn't help much. Eridan was aware of all of this, and he pulled Karkat a bit closer in preparation. It was actually kind of cute, how emtotional he could get over something Eridan could only see as sort of pointless, and he liked that Karkat so readily invited him to see this more sensitive side of him.

Maybe it was just because he provided easy companionship, but Karkat himself couldn't be entirely sure why he was so eager to pull Eridan close to him while he was watching these things, instead of pushing him away like almost everyone else. But it didn't much matter why; Eridan was there and he was willing, and he was the only one that would do this with Karkat even though he knew he didn't actually like these movies. But it was their thing, their litte tradition, and who cared what it meant? It didn't have to mean anything at all. It was just escape, it was comfort and movies and warmth and ridiculously expensive popcorn, and it was fine.

At the end of the second movie, Karkat was teary and tired, and he protested Eridan's leaving with something between a groan and a growl. But his Eridan was back soon, arms around him this time, and soothing him with little "shush"es and irritating mumbles of "Don't you dare fall asleep on me." And "Fuck, Kar, maybe you should just go to bed." Karkat mumbled curses that Eridan could barely catch and laid his head on his shoulder, stuffing popcorn into his mouth between his strings of murmered discontent. He settled down soon enough, though, and the previous ritual began again, this time with Karkat occaisionally falling asleep on the other. Halfway through, though, he got caught up in the stupid romance of the movie and returned to half-attentive word-slinging.

When the end credits came, Eridan didn't get up.

"Come on, I want to watch Fifty First Dates." Karkat grumbled, nudging his side with little effort.

"Yeah, I knoww you do."

"So get your ass up and put it in."

Eridan didn't respond, and Karkat fell silent for a moment.

"What?" He asked after a little bit, shifting on Eridan's shoulder so he could look up at him.

"..Wwhat does it mean?" Eridan asked, quiet, watching the credits roll on the screen in front of them.

"Oh, god, don't you dare get all philisophical on me. This is not what this night is for." Karkat groaned.

"Yeah, okay, but wwhat is it for?"

"What do you think? To watch romcoms and eat popcorn and discuss the tans of various shitty actors like there is nothing else to better occupy our overwhelmingly extensive intellects."

"Fine, but wwhy? It's your fuckin' birthday, wwhy do you wwant to spend it hangin' around me instead of one a' your better friends? Wwhat about Sol, or Gam?"

"You know full well Captor gives less of a shit about romcoms than you do, and Makara doesn't even try to be my friend. He just offers me some of that vile red cult-poison he calls a decent beverage and tells me to calm my shit. There is literally nothing to talk with him about aside from how much of a shitty friend he is and how he should probably stop doing so many drugs because eventually he is going to literally turn into a vegetable and spend the rest of his life avoiding vegans and vegetarians like the fucking plague."

"You're missin' my point here Kar."

"Did you have one?"

Eridan drew in a deep breath and began again.

"You don't wwant to spend your birthday celebratin', fine. You like wwatchin' romcoms, equally fine. You like combinin' the two, okay. But wwhere do I fit in there? Aside from quality popcorn and bitchy commentary, there is no reason for you to need me here. I ain't your best friend, or of any other significance to you. I'm about as useful as Tav, and that is fuckin' sayin' somethin'. So why the hell do you want me around on your birthday? Is there any kind a' pupose here, or was I just the first snobby asshole you could think a' wwhen you decided this wwas gonna be a thing?"

Karkat was silent for a long moment, his own eyes now on the screen of the TV.

"I... don't know." He muttered finally, "Can't I just like having someone else around?"

"Yeah, fine. Anyone but me. Wwe both know I'm no bag a' fuckin' sunshine."

Karkat sighed.

"Alright, fine. So I like having you around. Why is that abig fucking deal? You put up with my endless bullshit and you treat me like I'm a fucking human being and you sit with me and you let me lean on you and you watch romcoms and you buy me popcorn and if anything I should be asking you this because god knows I'm an insufferable fucking asswagon and if I'm not the butt of every joke then the world's got some re-thinking to do because franky, I suck. So shut the hell up and just let me be grateful that you seem to have yet to realize how absolutely volatile I am and how much a mistake my existance is because for a few nights a year I get to enjoy your presence and if one of them is my birthday then why the fuck should it matter that much to you? I love these nights and I love these movies and this popcorn and god damnit if I want to spend a few of them with the one person on this planet who still lives in blatant ignorance of every horrible thing I am then why can't I? You can leave if you want, but I just... don't... want this to end. I want you to stay ignorant forever but it's okay if you don't because I'll love you anyways and it's okay because I deserve it. I deserve every fucking... fuck... fuck." There were tears in his eyes and he hated it, and his mouth couldn't stop going and he hated that, too, but Eridan was quiet now and he guessed that was okay.

"Kar..." He mumbled softly, and drew Karkat into his embrace, the fool. He could feel Karkat shaking and he wasn't sure if it was coldness or upsetness, but he wanted to stop it. "It's okay. I'm not goin' anywwhere." He soothed, but he was growing shaky himself, and his voice was as wobbly as Karkat's had been now because, shit, did he just say...

"I fluv mu" Karkat mumbled into Eridan impossibly soft shirt, or rather, that was what Eridan could hear. Then he raised his head and took a shuddering breath and opened his moth to say it again, but Eridan grabbed his face with gentle urgency and met Karkat's quivering lips with his, partially to shut him up and partially because holding Karkat felt like home, and he just... he couldn't stand it anymore. And this was sudden and wrong and he was taking advantage, but it was so rght, and he tasted salt on those lips and he didn't know if it was from the movie or the popcorn or these tears but he wanted it gone, he wanted his Karkat okay, and he wasn't pulling away so it must have been alright, right? Everything would be alright.

"Eridan..." Karkat muttered when he let him go again.

"I love you, too." Was a whisper that trailed from his lips like smoke before he brought him close and kissed him again.


End file.
